What Is the
age of getting married? Am I too young to get married? What are the myths about
getting married young? Should we get married after we graduate?
In this post
I will talk about negative aspects of getting married too soon or too young;
however, I am not against it. I just want to share some disadvantages and potential
difficulties with couples that marry too soon. Of course, there are many
couples who succeed. However, knowing the negative aspects of getting married
too young, will definitely help you in determining the future and preparing for
the challenges and the reality of marriage before jumping on it. Let's start
with a statistical standpoint.
Divorce Rate
There are
many great marriages that began when couples were too young, a few of which
last for 50 or even 60 years.
It is up to the couple to make marriage work;
however, the divorce rate is very high among the young married couples. The
divorce rate is more than 50% among couple who get married in their twenties.
Young marriage comes with plenty of expectations and end up with immature
reasons. So the first problem or disadvantage of getting married too soon is
divorce.
How To Progress Through Life
There are
different issues with couples that married too soon, especially when they don't
know about commitment and seriousness of marriage. If the couple does not know
how to progress through life with each other, they may get into big problems
such as financial issues, support issues, and career issues. In young age, we
all want to live the sybaritic lifestyle; however, if we get married, we need
to support each other; this also includes maintaining the cost of living.
Career
A lot of
people who married in their young age report how challenging it is to plan
everything, especially career of two different people simultaneously. Even
having similar goals can trouble the couple, as this makes them separate from
each other due to the choices they make. And, long distance marriages are risky
as well. Usually, one has to give up his or her goal to view a partner's goal
achieved. Having children may also require sacrifice of career and goals. Even
birth control is risky for people married too young.
Love
Marriage
means teamwork of two people, commitment, and compromise. Sometimes, you will
have to sacrifice your needs and desires. You should know that the person you
are going to marry will change; yes it is usual and natural. You will change as
well. So you need to ensure that you are going to love that person and the
person you are going to marry with, will also do the same. No matter how things will change, your love should act like a pillar. It is easy to say that "yes, we will take care of each
other", but it is not easy to apply. A marriage without love will be of no
avail. In short, marriage requires unconditional love.
Maturity
Many couples
cite that they missed a lot of things due to their marriage in young age. Do
you know how much you will change after your twenties? Nobody knows that! Maturity
is also a disadvantage, if you get married young. You and your partner's character
will change. You and your partner will have new hobbies; new likes and
dislikes. So you might face problems in your married life due to maturity;
communication problem.
Bottom Line
There are
positively a few couples who married too soon and succeed. If you know some
couples who succeed, it will be wise to talk to them before getting married.
Successful couple can boast your and your partner's decision to get married.
The chances of giving up are high, the risk of divorce is high as well, but making
your mind and understanding all the potential problems may reduce the chances
of unsuccessful marriage.
I was 22 when I got married and 33 years later we're still happily married! But my kids are now 22 and 25 and it seems like they're too young! You definitely need to be ready to make that commitment and to work at it on days when it's hard.
ReplyDeleteI am one of those amazing statistics! I married very young and my husband had 3 kids from a previous marriage. So far we have been strong for almost 20 years! We are ALWAYS giving love advice.
ReplyDeleteI was almost 30 when I got married and I never would have been able to get married any younger. I wanted a chance to live my life before settling down.
ReplyDeleteI so applaud those that get married once and stay married happily! I knew not to get married young, allowed myself to be talked into it and divorced - BUT...it did prepare me for my new 23 yr happy marriage~ YAY
ReplyDeleteI'm not married - it is something I would love to one day when the time is right, from watching friends it seems age is something nothing to do with it as I have friends married at all different ages who have split and are still together. x
ReplyDeleteI got married at 22 and we have been married for 18 years now. We try to be creative in our relationship and avoid rountine
ReplyDeleteAs long as you are marrying for the right reasons, I think there is no age for it. Plus you need to be in it completely for it to work
ReplyDeleteI got married young and we are still together. It's definitely a very personal decision, and some people do get married well before they're ready!
ReplyDeleteI think if you are mature then maybe getting married young isn't such a bad idea. I just see all these kids who are still wet behind the ears... and they want to get married!!!
ReplyDeleteThe divorce rate is very high but it has more to do with society than age. Love is a funny thing, but if you have been raised with values and respect for a spouse by seeing it demonstrated by your own parents, I don't think age is an issue.
ReplyDeleteI think each couple is different. I've seen couples get married very young and stay together beautifully! And then some haven't. The same for those who wait a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteI got married when I was 24 and had my first child by 25. Now 20 some years later we are still together. The maturity that comes with age I believe helps in marriages.
ReplyDeleteI used to be surprised when stats were so high. Now I'm surprised that the 50% is so low. Seems it's harder and harder to stay married. My son and his wife are in their late 20s, I really hope they make it for the long haul. I like their little family a lot.
ReplyDeleteGetting married too young can sometimes mean that you didn't take the time to know who you are much less someone else. However, I think a Christian based young marriage can be great if both spouses understand that their commitment is not just to each other, but it is to God
ReplyDeleteI got married at a young age and don't recommend it. I wish I had lived a little first.
ReplyDeleteThese are all good points! However, I got married when I was 20 and we’re still going strong 14 years later.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is different. I was 21 when the 1st time I got married and that was a mess and did not work out and then got married in my early 30's and I am happily married almost 13 years.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think that I was one of those who got married too young. My parents married when they were much older and I wish I had known then what I now do know.
ReplyDeleteI have heard it before and until today, I still do.. getting married too young is way risky because as time goes on.. we make realizations of what we truly want.
ReplyDeleteI got married when I was just 21 and I wouldn't change a thing. I think it depends if someone is ready or not, and it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks as long as its right for you! - Jeanine
ReplyDeleteI got married when I was 21 and I have been married 21 years. I think a lot of it depends on the couple and how mature they are.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the people if the marriage lasts or no. Two people have to have a great teamwork to stay together for years.
ReplyDelete