Marriages in India
Around 3000 years ago
marriages took place commonly among blood relations; today those relationships
are classified as incestuous. The logic often cited behind such acts was to
preserve power or wealth of the family within the family. As religions grew stronger;
this practice dropped to almost zero. Then an alternate dimension opened up;
marrying relatives who were distantly related or alternatively within your own
caste. India is no exception when it comes to this practice; though for long
this has been practiced in various parts of the Middle East as well as African
societies. The Indian society despite its advancement in various fields has a
‘thorny’ issue to deal with namely inter-caste marriages.
This practice is
discouraged and if you go through online or paper advertisements targeted for
the Indian market whether living abroad or locally; you will be surprised to
find numerous astrologers, pundits or ‘babajis’ claiming to solve this dilemma
of yours and guarantee a successful inter-caste marriage. If you are unaware of
this term or cannot comprehend it fully. Let us simplify it with a simple
example. Castes are similar to clans or tribes; Indians after their ethnic
affiliations are further subdivided into caste structures. These structures are
not erected on pillars of theology but instead their roots lay deep down in
ethnicity.
 |
| Marriages in india |
You can be a ‘Punjabi’ living in Amritsar but your caste may be ‘Rao’
or you can be the unfortunate member of scheduled caste perhaps a ‘dalit’. The
caste system known locally as ‘jati’ is deeply embedded in the social strata of
India. A ‘Rao’ marrying a ‘Dalit’ will be similar to a man marrying a female
ape. Generally it is assumed that language link creates an unbreakable ethnic
bond and it can easily overcome caste barriers. This may be true in some
countries but not in India.
Violence over caste status is not uncommon in India
and due attention by the world media has been focused on it on and off.
Originally the caste system in India comprised of Brahmins, Kshatriya, Vaishya
and shudra. Brahmins remain on top of the chain while shudras at the bottom.
But today the ‘caste issue’ is not simply confined to these four elements.
Theological foundations
for the Indian caste system are not as strong as often advocated or suggested.
The real issue is the societal norms that have overshadowed religion easily.
There are no legal barriers for inter-caste marriages to take place but the
mind set has a wall erected that is not easy to climb over. Modern India has
progressed and it is true that rare instances of inter-caste marriages do occur
and their success rate is yet to be determined for it’s relatively a new
phenomenon.
A ‘Bengali’ marrying a ‘Tamil iyer’ who happens to be a Hindu
Brahmin is not an easy diet to digest for a lot of Indians. The Bengali’s love
to eat fish where as a strict Hindu Brahmin will confine him or herself to a
pure vegetarian diet only.
The two getting along will require a lot of
compromise from both ends. However it is true that 40 years ago from now this
would have never occurred in India but today it is happening and for the sake
of liberalism and end of discrimination we hope this may continue!
We learned a little about the Caste System in school.... but, I don't think the teachers really knew what they were talking about as you have explained it so much better.
ReplyDeleteSo if a Bengali would meet a Tamil iyer and fall in love... Maybe love would conquer all. LOL... just a thought.
haha..yeah may be :P
DeleteI love this line -
ReplyDeleteA ‘Rao’ marrying a ‘Dalit’ will be similar to a man marrying a female ape.
Wow, I guess things HAVE changed. I couldn't imagine being in an intercaste marriage....it takes a lot of work even when you marry for love!
Great post. Thank you for sharing.. I agree with Kristi things have changed.
ReplyDeleteI always thought the caste system had to do with wealth, but it sounds like it runs deeper than that.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great history lesson. I never knew about the Indian system and their way of life until I read this. Just learned a little about the caste system.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it is very difficult for everyone involved, at least at some point, when trying to break through such barriers. It's a pity that it sometimes comes to violence.
ReplyDeleteWOW, sort of like in the Old Testament. You did not marry from a different Tribe, then later you were to marry foreign women. All these rules get kind of confusing.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't it be simple, a man and woman fall in love, get married, happy ending?
What great insight into a practice I think a lot of the world does not understand. Like Terry, we studied it in anthropology, but how much can you really understand if you don't know anyone who has lived it? Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLike Terri, I studied this in anthropology in school, but it doesn't really make an impact until you here it firsthand from someone who has lived it. Thanks for sharing your insight. And it's interesting that in India that is one of the ways you are monitoring the change of society over the decades. I hope it keeps smoothly making progress.
ReplyDeleteI actually take offense to that line. As a white American married to an Indian this line shows that there's a lot of bias based on caste.
ReplyDeleteWe were taught about the various caste system back in RE classes in school. Thank you for educating me more :-) You learn something new everyday x
ReplyDeleteIt is true that there's more ability to inter-marry, but there are still many instances of violence. Which is sad. one cannot control their caste.
ReplyDeleteFor non-Indians or those who aren't familiar with caste, it is better put that "inter-caste marriage is like a commoner marrying royalty."
It's surprising how hard people all over the world in many cultures strive to find ways to elevate themselves over others. I don't know why we can't all just focus on being the best individuals we can be and judge each other on our own actions (which we have control over) rather than our blood line or family ties (which we are born with). Better yet, let's not judge one another at all and just try to get along with one another.
ReplyDeleteI think it's general human nature to try to categorize another - whether it be caste in India, or sexual orientation here in America. I was always amazed by the caste system, even as a child. I remember thinking how dreary it would be if I couldn't better myself, and marry into a family less dysfunctional than my own. It actually made me nervous, but glad I have a choice - and that even though we've different races, ages and educational background - our relationship is widely accepted by my culture.
ReplyDeleteThis is really something new to me! I like learning different cultures and traditions of other countries. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt is so surprising to me that so many countries still use the Caste system. It is such a foreign thought to have to experience something like that. It is good that changes are occurring but I wonder with all the compromise with Bengali and a Tamil iyer marriages has the divorce rate risen?
ReplyDeleteI love finding out more about history then I knew. Then, I get to go backand tell my husband who thinks he's a know it all. lol
ReplyDeletehehe keep doing that ;)
DeleteIt is great to see that modern India has progressed when it comes to views on marriage. However, it is very sad to know that violence over caste status is not uncommon.
ReplyDeleteI know very little about India, so I love reading your posts.
I have read about 4 types of hindus in our social studies. Is this possible for a brahmin to marry a shudra in case they fall in love? Does the religion say yes to it?
ReplyDeleteAccording to the religion it is a big NO. see the caste system is everywhere...shia-sunni can't marry; i think...but we are changing globally.
DeleteMy husband is from India and I'm a White American and his parents said that we couldn't get married.. Then they changed there minds and just wanted there son to be happy... So India is changing... :)
DeleteThanks so much for this post. It is nice to learn something new in my old age ;)
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteI always enjoy reading your blog because I am learning so much about India. I thought the caste system was more about wealth too. I hope things continue to progress and people are actually allowed to marry for love.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your posts I learn so much for you. Life must have been so hard for these women.
ReplyDeleteWhat an informative post. I really enjoyed learning more about Indian marriage.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is some very interesting information! I definitely learned a lot!
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that marriage was like this in India. At first I thought they were like the Chinese with marriages being arranged and all that. I learned a lot from reading this post!
ReplyDeleteThough I've heard of the caste system I wasn't familiar with all of its intricacies. It's so fascinating how this system effects the country and the people living within it.
ReplyDeleteIs this accepted more in 2016 than it was in 2013? It seems the world is so much more tolerant now but that might not be the same in India.
ReplyDeleteMany people started accepting inter-caste marriages in metro cities, but the situation in rural areas is still the same.
DeleteI'm so glad you explained how it works. I knew there was a system, but was unclear on how that really worked.
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard of this. India has a very interesting culture, their wedding is one of them.
ReplyDeleteI am not familiar with how Indian make their marriage. This is very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely a great post, Glad you share this
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. My landlord is from India and I'm always trying to learn more about his culture.
ReplyDelete